I say Happy Holidays. Deal with it.

It's that time of year again, for frenzied shopping and finding that perfect gift. Tinsel and trees, lights and colors declaring that this is the time of the holiday season.

And, sure enough, people are already getting offended if you happen to say the word "holiday" instead of "Christmas." Once again you have groups like the AFA saying that they're going to boycott Dick's sporting good store because they dared to say Holiday instead of Christmas. "Jesus is the reason for the season!" people declare.

It seems that every time this year, I wish Happy Holidays to someone, and I get a very angry "It's Merry Christmas!" back. And no, I'm not kidding. I've had people tell me very angrily that "Well, I say Merry Christmas, and if they don't like it, then they can just deal with it!"

You know - nobody really minds if you want to say Merry Christmas. Really. I don't give a shit.

I'm still saying Happy Holidays.

I say it because sorry, Christians, you don't have a monopoly on the month of December. Jesus was *not* the reason for the season (considering he was more likely born in the spring than the winter). Christmas itself is an older pagan holiday called Saturnalia that Christians took over from the Romans. That's right - the reason for the season is Zeus's daddy.

I say "happy holidays" because I don't know if the person I'm talking to is Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, Christian, atheist or otherwise. I don't care - I want whatever holiday they celebrate to be a good one, and if they (like the Puritans - you know, those Christians who fled Europe to help found the United States) decide not to celebrate any holidays, then I still wish them well.

I say "Happy Holidays", and anyone who takes offense to that is a selfish dick. Because for them, it's not about wishing "Peace on earth, good will to men", or heeding the words of the man they claim to follow when he said "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." For them, it's about dominance. It's about "I'm better than you, my god is better than yours and you'd better acknowledge that." The people who protest a company for wishing "Happy Holidays" upon its customers don't care about "Happiness" - they care to remind people that in this season of togetherness, that they don't *want* to be together with *you*.

So Happy Holidays, everyone. And for those who want to take offense because I'm not specifying your particular holiday - you can just suck my yule log.