Real Conversations with My Daughter

(In the Tampa Theater, watching the inauguration)

Emily: Daddy?

Me: Yes, Emily?

Emily: Why does everyone keep booing the old man in the wheelchair?

Me: His name is Dick Cheney, and he's the closest thing to a Bond villain the world knows. All he needs is a white Persian cat to stroke.

Emily: Oh. So what happens to President Bush now?

Me: They put him into a fiery furnace to burn him to ashes, so he'll never be President again.

Emily: Really?

Me: No.