In which I almost kill a bank teller

Me:  Hi, I'd like to deposit this check.

Teller: OK!  Hey, while you're here, would you like to fill out this credit card application?

Me:  I'd rather have my tongue ripped from my mouth, stapled to my forehead, and asked to drink a glass of pure lemon juice.

Teller:  That's sounds painful.

Me:  That's the point.

Teller:  But you know - Christmas is coming!  With this, you could get your presents and pay no interest!

Me:  I've spent the last 4 years eradicating every credit card from my life.  I am down to 1.  I am not adding any more.

Teller:  But -

Me:  *GLARE!*  *EYEBROW!*

Teller:  ...

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